the xlog : x-rated weblog

a twisted and humorous look at sex, pornography, and the world in general

August 31, 2007

“Fashion Dolls 3” DVD gets Whackman all sticky

Fashion Dolls 3 DVD boxcoverFashion Dolls 3 feature some of sluts who want to be down with Pussyman’s fashion lines. These whores will talk into the camera straight up to The Whackman. Will they win The Whackman over though? Let’s do this…

A blonde sexual predator cutie named Sharon Wild slurps down a cock while eye fucking The Whackman. Sharon gets in the 69 position and rotates her pussy on dude’s face. After their oral exchange, Sharon rides dude passionately and gets her ass smacked until reddened. She is then doggied before getting into reverse cowgirl. This tramp is really into it and it’s easy to see how she caught Pussyman’s attention.

Next up is the insatiable German slut Victoria Sin. She strips down for her man and is thrown on top of a piano to get her twat feasted on. Victoria uses her mouth and hands on her man’s crooked cock before taking it in her cunt on the piano chair. She is then airlifted in a good hardcore plugging, and then dude falls back and has the whore bounce on top of him. Victoria then takes it up the crapper like a champ. With a decent boob job, this bitch has potential to be a star.

(click to read more…)

August 29, 2007

When monkeys fly out of my butt, and Homer needs a shave

Filed under: humor,photos — Simon @ 1:57 pm

When monkeys fly out of my butt tattooOne of the subscribers to the Fetish-News email newsletter saw the pussy tattoo ideas we posted earlier and sent us these two tattoo ideas that we thought were funny and wanted to share with you.

The first one reminded us of that old saying, “Yeah, when monkeys fly out of my butt.” You know what we mean, the kind of Butt Monkey that flies out of your butt right after you say that. (Like in the film “Bruce Almighty”) Makes us wonder if that’s what she was thinking when she got it.

The one below is definitely tattooed around a Simpsons fan’s pussy. That one makes us wonder what Homer looks like with a close shave, because in this one he looks more like he needs one.


Homer Simpson pussy tattoo

Click here for more Tattoo-related postings

August 27, 2007

“Image of Sex” – a DVD review by Whackman

'Image of Sex' DVD boxcoverLegend’s Image of Sex is a story about a man who loves to watch porn, but is very passive, so to The Whackman he looks and sounds like a punk. Dude just talks to his buddy at work about his HD hookup at the house and how he can feel what’s going on on TV. He plays touchy feely with the TV. Interesting? Let’s find out…

Scene 1 opens up with a dude sucking on his fine secretary’s tits (played by the insatiable brunette Eva Angelina) while in his office. Eva sits on top of the desk to get her beaver munched on before going to town on her boss’s cock. She then gets her pussy stabbed with cock in missionary prior to getting drilled from underneath while on the couch. Eva is sidewayed until her boss drowns her face with warmth.

In scene 2, some dude is watching a porno of a cute short-haired brunette (Tiffany Hopkins) getting eaten out by her man. Tiffany squats to get face fucked by her man before getting the doggy treatment. She turns around to get the continued pussy pulverizing and then the whore sits on her fast fucking cock. Tiffany’s twat gets beaten up damn good—the bitch’ll need to ice that shit down.

(click to read more…)

August 23, 2007

Barbies battle over porn name

Filed under: commentary,humor,photos,pornstars,sex news — Simon @ 11:27 am

porn star China BarbieThe Mattel toy company has filed a lawsuit against porn starlet China Barbie because they say that her use of the Barbie name on her website is hurting their doll’s clean-cut image.

Mattel’s lawsuit, filed in Manhattan, claims Ms Barbie has tried to benefit from Mattel’s success with the 48-year-old line of dolls. They claim that China Barbie’s appearances in movies like Me Love You Long Time (and Me Love You Long Time 2) and others, are damaging to the good name of their doll.

The lawsuit said Mattel had registered its trademarks to protect the Barbie line of dolls and the $1.6billion in sales it generates. Mattel said it has sold more than 1 billion Barbie dolls worldwide and a typical American girl owns eight of them.

Mattel co-founder Ruth Handler created the Barbie doll in 1959 after discovering her daughter Barbara preferred to play with paper cutouts of adult female fashion dolls rather than baby dolls.

August 21, 2007

“Bang My Box” – a Whackman DVD review

Bang My Box - DVD review pageSmash Pictures Bang My Box is a promising title that initially gets The Whackman thinking that these filthy sluts will get their pussies diven into so deep they will end up with bruises inside and outside of their sweet cunts. Let’s bang this review on out.

Hillary, the cute blonde cover girl in pig tails, gets bored and finds a pink feathery buttplug. She rubs the feathered ends around her body and sucks on the plug before Brett appears. Hillary’s shocked at his size at first, but then eagerly sucks. Brett then rewards her with the buttplug in her ass and a tongue for her pussy as she sucks him. He has her stretch out her mouth with her hands as he fucks her face and gags her a few times before having Hillary impale her ass on his cock reverse cowgirl style. Hillary sucks Brett’s cock clean of her yummy ass before letting him drill it doggystyle. She slides the toy in her ass with his cock a couple times. Finally, Hillary takes Brett’s load in her mouth, gargles it, and swallows it down. This bitch is nasty and hot.
The sexy faced foreigner named Ellen gives two dudes a little tease wearing a black mesh bra, pinstriped black short shorts, and a black see-through frilly shirt. They foreplay a bit and then exchange oral favors before the dudes start plugging her missionary style. Ellen gets in doggy before taking the anal in cowgirl. She takes a quick double penetration before finishing things up with a decent double facial. Although her tits are a little funny, this slut is a sensual performer.

(click to read more…)

August 19, 2007

Sex Positions for Kinky Components

Filed under: humor,photos,sex news — Simon @ 10:27 am

LED Sex positionsIn response to the pics of California’s governor having sex that we posted here earlier (just kidding), someone sent us these shots of some light emitting diodes and resistors coupling in various familiar ways.

If you’d like to see these six pics a bit larger, you can just click on the image to the left or click the ‘read more’ link below.

And if you have any pics of other strange items having sex, feel free to send them along.

(click to read more…)

August 17, 2007

American Nymphette 5 – DVD Review

American Nymphette - volume 5 boxcoverYou buy her stuff. You agree with her opinions on politics and the rain forest. You even pretend she’s not a total nutcase when she talks to her cats as if they were people. But what happens when you forget one little anniversary? She takes your money and fucks The Whackman! Love’s a bitch–and so is the American Nymphette 5!

The sex slave blonde nympho Brittney Skye opens up scene 1 by sucking her man’s cock. Brittney then gets her twat munched on and after, she rides it damn good. She then gets railed at a furious pace while lying on her back and the pussy punishment continues in doggystyle and she gets a well deserved chin shot.

In scene 2, the blonde bombshell and covergirl Hannah Harper gets her nipples bitten by her man prior to getting eaten out. Hannah gets face-fucked before getting on her back to have her crapper hole stretched out. Her cunt gets some work in as she bounces on her man’s cock with passion. She ends up on all fours to get the continued treatment and is splattered all over her mouth.

The black-haired slut Jewel De Nyle gets her mouth filled with cock to open up scene 3. Jewel then gets her jewels tongue caressed before her man’s cock slits it. With one leg on the table and one leg on the floor, Jewel gets in doggy to take the pulverizing. She sits her man on a dining chair and plunges her twat with his cock until her man squirts everything on her nice tits.

(click here for some scenes from the movie…)(click to read more…)

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