the xlog : x-rated weblog

a twisted and humorous look at sex, pornography, and the world in general

January 14, 2008

Logo replacement for Firefox browser

Filed under: humor,photos,sex news — Simon @ 7:47 am

Firefox browser replacementHere’s a suggestion for the people developing the Firefox web browser. That little orange fox curled up around the globe of the earth is a nice logo, really it is. But come on. If a company wants us to look at their logo on our browser, wouldn’t you rather they made us look at this one?

November 29, 2007

Protest for Pleasure

Filed under: commentary,humor,photos,sex news — Blogs @ 12:49 am

Loretta Nall is sending sex toy to Alabama Attorney General Troy KingThe right to use sex toys is getting an activist in Alexander City, Alabama, all hot and bothered.

Loretta Nall, a gubernatorial candidate in 2006, is steamed at Alabama’s Attorney General Troy King over his intent to prosecute adult shop owners for selling sex toys. So she’s taking matters into her own hands by asking touchy Americans to deluge him with sex toys.

Nall has organized a “Sex Toy Drive” and is asking all masturbators to get off their Purple Penetrators and hit King where it hurts, by ramming his mailbox with sex toys in protest.

"King is pushing this thing, but he doesn’t need to be sticking his nose in people’s business,” Nall said. “He’s making Alabamians look like backwater rednecks."

It seems to be working. The naughty novelties have already starting penetrating King’s office, with ball gags, rectum plugs, and Hello Kitty massagers creating a stir with the stiff conservative.

Nall is practicing what she preaches. "I personally sent him a penetrable pink pig,” she said. “I was thinking of dressing up as a penis to his next appearance, but then people would confuse me for that big dick."

November 14, 2007

Choosing the perfect pick-up line

Filed under: humor,sex news — Blogs @ 1:30 am’s Pickup Line Encyclopedia, Pickupedia, features quips and quotes on subjects from Arousal to Virginity.

Here are a few samples from their collections.

"I must be a pirate cuz I’m loving your booty."
Nice shoes… fancy a fuck?
"What winks and screws like a tiger?" pause… 😉 wink.
"You must be a parking ticket… Cuz, you have FINE written all over you"
"If you were a sliding door I’d slam you all night long."
"Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"You are the most interesting piece of ass I’ve talked to all evening."
"Let’s be like Nike, and just do it!"
"I’m really wired. What do you say I take you home and eat your pussy?"
"Are you from Jamaica? Cause Jamaican me crazy!"
"Are you wearing Jalepeno undies, ’cause your ass is hot."
"If you were a McDonald’s Value meal they would call you McBeautiful."
"Hersheys makes thousands of kisses a day, all I’m asking for is just one."
"If I call your left leg Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit between the holidays?"
"Did you shower in Windex? Because I can see myself in you."
 "Hi, stranger, do you have any candy? Can I ride in your car?" (Said to me by an acquaintance whom I hadn’t seen in a while.)

November 3, 2007

Blowjob lessons badly needed

Filed under: humor,video clips — Simon @ 12:26 pm

I’ll count myself as lucky that I’ve never run into this girl, or anyone like her. At least not yet anyway. And I hope you’ve never met one of these either.

But who knows what the future may hold. So keep your guard up and be careful if you do cross paths with someone who needs lessons this badly.

Click the arrow on the video image to watch what she puts this guy through.

October 28, 2007

Groping dentist says just trying to help

Filed under: commentary,humor,photos,sex news — Simon @ 6:21 am

masked dentistA dentist accused of fondling the breasts of 27 female patients in California is trying to keep his dental license by arguing that chest massages are an appropriate procedure in certain cases.

Mark Anderson’s lawyer said that dental journals discuss the need to massage the pectoral muscles to treat a common jaw problem. Police say Anderson said during recorded phone calls that he routinely massaged patients’ chests to treat TMJ, or temporo-mandibular joint disorder, which causes neck and head pain.

Anderson’s dental license was suspended last month. He was charged with two misdemeanor counts of battery and sexual battery. Prosecutors are investigating complaints from more than two dozen women who say they also were groped in the examining chair in the last five years.

According to court papers, one woman said Anderson first asked her if she’d had her breasts enlarged. When she said yes, she said he began fondling them with both hands. She said he told her, “They did a good job. You can’t even feel the bags.”

Dentist Mark AndersonHere’s a photo of the dentist who did the alleged groping and fondling so you can see for yourself who these women were allowing to handle their breasts. By the way, another of the complaints is from a 31-year-old woman who said Anderson fondled her at least six times over two years. She said she took to wearing tight shirts with high necklines, “and Anderson would still get in under her shirt and bra,” according to a police report.

Okay, maybe it’s just me, but why would you think that wearing tight shirts would make someone ignore your breasts? And why would someone go back six times to get fondled if they didn’t want the attention?

October 24, 2007

Happy Halloween for Adults-Only

Filed under: free sites,humor,photos,sex stories — Simon @ 10:11 am

pierced manIf you like the Halloween season as much as we do, we think you’ll like this special Halloween free site we have for you.

Click on the image to the right to visit the Adults-Only Halloween site, where you’ll find a dozen spooky sex stories, some strange and weird photos and images, some Halloween jokes and humor, plus a kinky tarot card reader and a bdsm horoscope generator.

Everything on the Halloween site is free, so please do pass the link around to all of your kinkier friends. You can give them this shortcut instead of the long address if you want:

October 22, 2007

Power to the Panties!

Filed under: commentary,humor,photos,sex news,video clips — Simon @ 8:59 am

asian girl showing her pantiesThe Burmese military is facing an unexpected threat from female opponents to its regime – a deluge of panties dispatched to the country’s embassies in a “culturally insulting gesture of protest” against its recent crackdown on protestors.

The Panties for Peace initiative is not merely symbolic, since the the group behind the campaign – Lanna Action for Burma – claims “superstitious generals, especially junta leader General Than Shwe… believe that contact with women’s underwear saps them of power.”

Spokeswoman Liz Hilton said: “It’s an extremely strong message in Burmese and in all Southeast Asian culture.” Adding that “women in Thailand, Australia, Singapore, England and other European countries have started sending or delivering their underwear to Myanmar missions following informal coordination among activist organisations and individuals.”

Quite how many pairs of panties will be required before Than Shwe is rendered powerless is not noted, but the Lanna Action for Burma website is urging women to “post, deliver or fling your panties at the closest Burmese Embassy any day from today.” The Lanna Action for Burma website also says: “After a day of tri-panty dialogue, deep in the golden triangle due to the popular demand, the panties are back.”

Note: Reports that Britney Spears is an active supporter of Panties for Peace are unconfirmed and you should note the “golden triangle” in question is a geographical reference, and not a reference to the Britney Spears upskirt photos. Also, if you like panties you can click the photo above you can see more of Yoshi in this college cheerleaders panties gallery. You’ll also find a free site with two pages of video clips featuring Denise in her panties in some coed schoolgirl movies here.

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