the xlog : x-rated weblog

a twisted and humorous look at sex, pornography, and the world in general

November 29, 2007

Protest for Pleasure

Filed under: commentary,humor,photos,sex news — Blogs @ 12:49 am

Loretta Nall is sending sex toy to Alabama Attorney General Troy KingThe right to use sex toys is getting an activist in Alexander City, Alabama, all hot and bothered.

Loretta Nall, a gubernatorial candidate in 2006, is steamed at Alabama’s Attorney General Troy King over his intent to prosecute adult shop owners for selling sex toys. So she’s taking matters into her own hands by asking touchy Americans to deluge him with sex toys.

Nall has organized a “Sex Toy Drive” and is asking all masturbators to get off their Purple Penetrators and hit King where it hurts, by ramming his mailbox with sex toys in protest.

"King is pushing this thing, but he doesn’t need to be sticking his nose in people’s business,” Nall said. “He’s making Alabamians look like backwater rednecks."

It seems to be working. The naughty novelties have already starting penetrating King’s office, with ball gags, rectum plugs, and Hello Kitty massagers creating a stir with the stiff conservative.

Nall is practicing what she preaches. "I personally sent him a penetrable pink pig,” she said. “I was thinking of dressing up as a penis to his next appearance, but then people would confuse me for that big dick."

October 28, 2007

Groping dentist says just trying to help

Filed under: commentary,humor,photos,sex news — Simon @ 6:21 am

masked dentistA dentist accused of fondling the breasts of 27 female patients in California is trying to keep his dental license by arguing that chest massages are an appropriate procedure in certain cases.

Mark Anderson’s lawyer said that dental journals discuss the need to massage the pectoral muscles to treat a common jaw problem. Police say Anderson said during recorded phone calls that he routinely massaged patients’ chests to treat TMJ, or temporo-mandibular joint disorder, which causes neck and head pain.

Anderson’s dental license was suspended last month. He was charged with two misdemeanor counts of battery and sexual battery. Prosecutors are investigating complaints from more than two dozen women who say they also were groped in the examining chair in the last five years.

According to court papers, one woman said Anderson first asked her if she’d had her breasts enlarged. When she said yes, she said he began fondling them with both hands. She said he told her, “They did a good job. You can’t even feel the bags.”

Dentist Mark AndersonHere’s a photo of the dentist who did the alleged groping and fondling so you can see for yourself who these women were allowing to handle their breasts. By the way, another of the complaints is from a 31-year-old woman who said Anderson fondled her at least six times over two years. She said she took to wearing tight shirts with high necklines, “and Anderson would still get in under her shirt and bra,” according to a police report.

Okay, maybe it’s just me, but why would you think that wearing tight shirts would make someone ignore your breasts? And why would someone go back six times to get fondled if they didn’t want the attention?

October 22, 2007

Power to the Panties!

Filed under: commentary,humor,photos,sex news,video clips — Simon @ 8:59 am

asian girl showing her pantiesThe Burmese military is facing an unexpected threat from female opponents to its regime – a deluge of panties dispatched to the country’s embassies in a “culturally insulting gesture of protest” against its recent crackdown on protestors.

The Panties for Peace initiative is not merely symbolic, since the the group behind the campaign – Lanna Action for Burma – claims “superstitious generals, especially junta leader General Than Shwe… believe that contact with women’s underwear saps them of power.”

Spokeswoman Liz Hilton said: “It’s an extremely strong message in Burmese and in all Southeast Asian culture.” Adding that “women in Thailand, Australia, Singapore, England and other European countries have started sending or delivering their underwear to Myanmar missions following informal coordination among activist organisations and individuals.”

Quite how many pairs of panties will be required before Than Shwe is rendered powerless is not noted, but the Lanna Action for Burma website is urging women to “post, deliver or fling your panties at the closest Burmese Embassy any day from today.” The Lanna Action for Burma website also says: “After a day of tri-panty dialogue, deep in the golden triangle due to the popular demand, the panties are back.”

Note: Reports that Britney Spears is an active supporter of Panties for Peace are unconfirmed and you should note the “golden triangle” in question is a geographical reference, and not a reference to the Britney Spears upskirt photos. Also, if you like panties you can click the photo above you can see more of Yoshi in this college cheerleaders panties gallery. You’ll also find a free site with two pages of video clips featuring Denise in her panties in some coed schoolgirl movies here.

October 18, 2007

Sexual Satisfaction Surgery

Filed under: commentary,DVD Review,humor,movie reviews,sex news — Simon @ 12:01 am

Grafenberg spot illustrationDavid L. Matlock, M.D., stands poised before Rosemary Staltare’s vagina, preparing to inject her G-spot with a dense dollop of collagen that will plump it to the size of a small stack of quarters. Through an opening in a plastic speculum of his own design, the gynecologist navigates a needle into Staltare’s frontal vaginal wall, pumping it up with his “secret” variation of the substance that for years has been used to swell women’s lips. Dr. Matlock, known for his appearances on the E! channel show Dr. 90210, insists that enlarging a woman’s G-spot renders it more accessible and sensitive to the touch for a period of up to four months.

Staltare, a 33-year-old restaurant publicist who has had the $1,850 procedure twice before for free — and is getting it gratis again today in exchange for letting me watch — couldn’t agree more. “It’s like having a mini-heartbeat in my crotch,” she explains, a sensation that arouses her even during yoga and spinning classes, or when she drives along bumpy roads. During sex, Staltare says, she has volcanic, multiple orgasms “like huge waves that keep lifting me higher and higher.”

>> from a story on MSNBC: Women aim to pump up sex lives with surgery

>> Two related video on demand selections in XratedTV’s Theater:

Where the Fuck's The G Spot - DVD boxcoverWhere the Fuck ‘s The G Spot – Six guys, five girls, four facials, three anals, one double anal, and one hell of a good time. The mythical G Spot. It’s a woman’s most sexually sensitive place and it’s located… it’s near her… it’s up around… Damn. The producers at Sin City don’t know where it is, and that’s why they made this tape. To educate ourselves, to learn just what pushes a woman’s buttons the best, and, most of all, how to find the elusive thing. They put a bunch of porn’s most overactive sluts to the challenge and asked, no, begged them to show us how it works. So they stripped down to nothing, spread their legs and guided a cock or two up their cooch and stirred it around until, voila! a g spot orgasm. You may still not know where the g spot is after watching this, but it sure is fun trying to learn about it. (see more here)

The Amazing G Spot And Female Ejaculation - DVD boxcoverThe Amazing G Spot And Female Ejaculation – Dr. Michael Perry, one of the original G Spot researchers, shows every couple the latest techniques on how to find and really drive women crazy with G Spot stimulation. See what Female Ejaculation is — and isn’t. Watch women “gush” — ejaculate — as their G Spot is triggered. New, never-before seen in-the-vagina photography proves the G Spot exists and what it looks like at orgasm! See Keisha Dominguez and Saki, two of our stars, actually experience earthshaking orgasms for the first time in their lives with G Spot stimulation. And we caught it on camera! Find out why “Mila the Gusher” earns her title. (see more here)

October 14, 2007

Arkansas, land of baby brides and grooms

Filed under: commentary,humor,photos,sex news — Simon @ 12:11 pm

babies eligible for marriageThanks to one little misplaced word, it appears that people of any age can legally be married in Arkansas, with parental consent.

Lawmakers say a law passed this year would even allow infants to be married if their parents agree. And that may force the governor to call a special session to fix the mistake.

The bill’s sponsor says the legislation was intended to establish 18 as the minimum age to marry — but also let pregnant teenagers marry with parental consent. An extraneous “not” in the bill, however, allows anyone who is not pregnant to marry at any age if the parents allow it.

A commission that fixes typographical and technical errors in laws had tried to correct the mistake, but a group of legislators argued that the commission went beyond its powers.

The Arkansas legislature is not scheduled to meet again until January of 2009, so without a special session, marrying infants could remain legal there for the next year or so. I’m not sure if that’s a step up or down from marrying your cousin, but then again there doesn’t seem to be anything in the law to prevent two infant cousins from marrying each other — as long as their parents say it’s okay.

October 12, 2007

Alabama still a buttplug-free state

Filed under: commentary,photos,sex news — Simon @ 10:26 am

no butt plugs allowed in AlabamaThis month the U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear a challenge to Alabama’s ban on the sale of sex toys, ending a nine-year legal battle and sending a warning to store owners to clean off their shelves.

An adult-store owner had asked the justices to throw out the law as an unconstitutional intrusion into the privacy of the bedroom. But the Supreme Court declined to hear the appeal, leaving intact a lower court ruling that upheld the law.

Alabama’s anti-obscenity law, enacted in 1998, bans the distribution of “any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs for anything of pecuniary value.”

The law does not ban the possession of sex toys, and it doesn’t regulate other items, including condoms or virility drugs. Residents may legally purchase sex toys out of state for use in Alabama, or they may buy sexual devices in Alabama that have a “bona fide medical” purpose.

So if you’re in Alabama (or anywhere else) you can click the following link if you want a good butt plug.

(click to read more…)

October 8, 2007

Extinct walrus penis sold on the cheap

Filed under: commentary,humor,photos,sex news — Simon @ 10:07 am

walrus oosik - penis boneIf you wanted to get a great deal on great big old walrus dick bone, you missed your chance when a Beverly Hills auction sold a fossilized penis bone from an extinct walrus for just $8,000 (US), which is about half of what it was expected to bring.

The fossilized baculum, or penis bone, is from a species of walrus that became extinct 12,000 years ago. The 4 1/2 feet long bone was found preserved in permafrost in northern Siberia. The auction house said it is believed to be the largest known mammal penis fossil.

Josh Chait, director of operations for the I-M Chait Gallery, said that the buyer was the company that runs the Ripley’s Believe It or Not museums.

“We’re very pleased that it’s going to Ripley’s so that the public can have an opportunity to see it,” he said. “It’s definitely something everyone should see once in their life.”

Chait added that there were only three bidders and the contest lasted only a couple of minutes. “There’s a limited clientele for a piece like that. Not everyone’s going to want to put it on their mantel.”

The eight thousand dollar bid will cost Ripley’s ninety-six hundred dollars when auctions fees are added. Edward Meyer, vice president of exhibits and archives for Ripley’s Believe It or Not! said: “I was prepared to spend at least twice, probably three times that amount.”

“This one is considerably bigger than anything we’ve seen before. When it comes to fossils, size matters,” Meyer said.

Gotta love that size matters comment. Particularly since it sure doesn’t apply only to fossils. Click the link below for the rest of this post, which includes links to some big tits and big cocks video clips, plus a poem about the walrus’s oosik.

(click to read more…)

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