the xlog : x-rated weblog

a twisted and humorous look at sex, pornography, and the world in general

August 29, 2006

Strippers for the Dead

Filed under: commentary,humor,sex news — Simon @ 2:17 pm

Chinese strippersThe older cultures sometimes have the best traditions. Lots of cultures believe that the more people who attend someone’s funeral, the more important or honored that person must have been in life. Well, in China they have a way to guarantee a good turnout at a funeral: they use [tag]strippers[/tag]!

That’s right, they use naked dancing girls to attract more “mourners” to the funeral. Wealthy families often hire several strippers, and sometimes more than one group of strippers are employed, to ensure an even bigger crowd.

Wonder how I found out about this? I heard about it because the dickless wonders who run mainland China have now banned the traditional practice. They even arrested the people who run five of the stripper troupes for “obscene performances.”

Fucking uptight bureaucratic assholes.

Fortunately in Taiwan, which is free from mainland control–and I hope they stay that way, the traditions are still honored. In fact, together with the explicit strippers, the funerals often include hardcore remarks made about the virility of the deceased. Hell, they even use strippers in temples to express gratitude for lottery winnings!

So my advice for you today is, if you have to die and be buried in China, make sure you’re in Taiwan when you kick.

August 25, 2006

The Good Wife’s Guide (from way before metrosexuals!)

Filed under: commentary,humor,sex news — Simon @ 1:06 pm

Good Wife GuideThis image is from an article that was originally published on May 13th, 1955 in Housekeeping Monthly. You can click the image to open a small window where you can see and read the full article.

The article has a nice collection of what used to be just good common sense advice given to wives back in what’s sometimes referred to as “the good old days.” And if you click the image and read some of the advice, I doubt you’ll have any trouble at all guessing who calls it that.

To the women out there: I congratulate you on your hard-won freedoms…and I really do hope you’re happy with them.

And to all the men: okay guys, can anyone with even one of your balls left tell me how the hell we went and fucked up a sweet deal like that was?

August 24, 2006

Free Handjob (okay, well, free handjob advice anyway)

Filed under: commentary,free sites,sex news,video clips — Simon @ 12:25 pm

Whether you want to improve your own technique or have someone else in mind who you’d like to see improve theirs, the Hand Job Advice website will be a treasure trove. The site has a nice collection of free videos, each one focused on a particular stroke which is identified by its nickname. For example, the sample video here shows a [tag]handjob[/tag] stroke called the “Never Ending Tunnel (just click the video to start it).

There are twenty other free videos on the site, which show how to do things like the The Shocker, the Wild Butterfly, the Washing Machine, Milking The Bull, the 2 Finger Corkscrew, Starting A Fire, the Doorknob, the Palm Lick, the Fakie Hand Job, the Switch Hitter, the Pancake, the Flattener, the Ping-Pong, the Healing Stroke, the Slippy Grippy, the Headless Hand Job, the Squeezing Ring, the 2 Handed Slammer, the Swizzle Stick, and the Over-Under. You’ll also find advice on sensitive areas, how firm to grip, plus lubes to use and lube lessons. Check out Hand Job Advice and learn how to give a fantastic hand job.

August 23, 2006

XRT Link List adds 1,286 more free video clips

Filed under: free sites,video clips,xrt news — Simon @ 3:16 pm

In the last few days we’ve added links to over 200 new free sites with more than 1,200 new video clips between them for you to enjoy.

The new free sites are in our XRT Link List section, and you can find them on all of the category pages there too. The new videos feature content from several adult online producers, including clips with both homegrown amateurs and hardcore pornstars.

Use the controls below the image to start the sample clip of sweet Jane jammin’ with her fingers. You can visit Jane’s free site to see her in action in more of her clips, and you can see a lot more of Jane and her friends at too.

In addition to Jane, the 200 new free sites have more nubile teens, MILFs, mature women, asians, ebonies, and latinas. Big tits, hairy girls, and pregnant girls. Lesbians, sex toys, and strapons. Interracial sex, masturbation, handjobs, analsex and everything else you like. Head over to our XRT Link List and pick the ones you want to see.

August 22, 2006

You want your what cut off? Oh, you have two, well okay then!

Filed under: commentary,humor,sex news — Simon @ 3:51 pm

double dick fuckingIn New Delhi there’s a man who wants his dick cut off. No, he’s not trying to get a sex change operation. And no, he’s not mad at his dick for some reason. It’s just that he has two of them and thinks he needs to lose one if he wants to ever marry and have a normal sexual life.

Okay, so instead of pursuing a very lucrative life as a porn star, this 24-year-old double-dick man checked himself into a hospital and requested surgical removal of one of his dicks. Hey, I’m serious about the pornstar career he’s passing up. Imagine the scenes of surprising [tag]double-penetration[/tag]: she knows he’s the only guy in the room and she knows his cock is in her pussy and both his hands are on her tits, so what the hell is that pushing its way into her ass?

The doctors commented that the surgery is challenging because both dicks are fully-functional and well-formed. Thinking about this for a minute, even without going into porn, I bet this guy could find plenty of women (and men) who wouldn’t think two cocks were too many.

Can’t you just hear him at the bar saying “Actually, I have 12 inches hanging between my legs. Of course that’s split between my two cocks.” I doubt this guy would ever have to pay for a drink or go home alone if he didn’t want to…and he chooses surgery.

Well, there’s still hope for those who’d love to find a double-dick man. The rare medical condition is called penile duplication or diphallus, and occurs among one in 5.5 million men. There are about 100 reported cases worldwide right now, so get out there and start looking.

(Note: In a completely unrelated story, last year a German biker’s wife filed for divorce after he showed her the results of his surgery in which doctors had attached a second penis.)

— image above is from the Double Cock Sex article at (check them out).

Sugasm’s posts of the week

Each week the readers on the [tag]Sugasm[/tag] blog site vote on their favorite selected posts from other blogs, and a new list is published each Monday. One of the XLog posts is part of this week’s list, so I thought you might like to take a look at some of the other links they picked.

Top Voted Posts
Skinny Dipping (
Pretend Forest (
Why I’m Happy With “The Cleavage Situation” (

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Brian Griffin on Porn (

Random Selection
Self Love – Njoy (

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

(click to read more…)

August 20, 2006

World Strip Poker Championship

Filed under: humor,photos,sex news,sports — Simon @ 6:30 am

strip pokerYesterday the World Strip Poker Championship began at the Cafe Royal in central London, with around 200 seated to play “No Limit Texas Hold ’em.” Irish bookmaker Paddy Power organized the event following up on an April Fool’s spoof that generated tremendous interest in actually holding the event. Both male and female players, and from 12 different countries, are competing to keep their clothes on and walk away with the 10,000 pound prize, a Gold Fig Leaf trophy and the title of World [tag]Strip Poker[/tag] Champion. The winner also gets free entry into the 2007 Paddy Power Irish Poker Open, which will have prizes of over one million pounds.

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