the xlog : x-rated weblog

I don’t know about you, but some of these conjure up images for me. Or at least they did until I read the actual job descriptions. What do you think, are any of these jobs ones that you’d like to have? I mean, before you read the real descriptions, of course!

• Back Washer – nope, you don’t get to use a bar of soap and a stiff brush on anyone – this job operates a machine for washing sliver (a continuous textile strand).
• Bed Rubber – nothing to do with beds or prophylactics – this job operates a machine which smoothes stone blocks.
• Bit Shaver – no, you don’t get to chew the hair off them – the person smoothes mouthpieces of smoking pipes.
• Chick Sexer – sorry, this one isn’t what it seems either, unless you really wanted to insert an illuminating tool into baby birds to determine their gender.
• Fur Blower – I know it sounds like an preliminary step to cunnilingus, but actually it’s someone who runs machinery for fumigating and cleaning furs.
• Hand Nailer – nope, not another way to say masturbator, this one assembles wooden boxes, pallets and packing cases.
• Lag Screwer – even if you know what a lag is, you still don’t get to screw one, this job is to insert bolts in table legs.
• Nut Steamer – fortunately your testicles are safe on this one, the job is to immerse almonds, pecans etc in hot water to soften their shells.
• Poultry Offal Icer – nope, no fancy decorative sugar icing here, this one shovels plain ice into chicken waste parts to avoid spoiling.
• Rug Hooker – you can’t look for rugs burns to find these hookers, this job operates a device to make piles on rugs and carpets.
• Skull Grinder – this has nothing to do with rough deep throat blowjobs, the job is to clean the ear and nose passages of brained pig heads.
• Sulky Driver – this sounded like an old girlfriend, but it turns out the job is to take charge of two-wheel, horse-drawn carriages in races.
• Wrinkle Chaser – nope, not someone who likes much older women, this job uses various tools to remove defects from new shoes.
• Worm Picker – not another term for what a femdom does, this is actually someone who patrols grassy areas to find worms for fishing bait.
• Whizzer – keep it in your pants, this one has nothing to do with taking a piss, the job is done by someone who operates felt-hat drying machinery.

Inspired by the post at Vitamin Q

I really like it when their little [tag]nipples[/tag] point up like that. This hot blonde is Desire, and she’s from a site called Penetration Tease

This place is all about hot girls who’ve mastered the art of completely controlling when her guy’s hard cock enters her sweet pussy, teasing the guy to the point of explosion and than finally giving him exactly what he wants.

I think of the girls at this site as “cock teasers who put out.”

Fuck, now that I think about it, all the cock teasers I’ve ever known put out … one way or another. Some acted like little virgins about it. Or swore that “I only give head” or “all I’ve ever done is given my boyfriend a handjob.” But all cock teasers give it up. You know why? Because hard dick is all they think about, all the time, that’s why.

To see the full-size pic, just click her right nipple. Actually, either nipple. Okay, actually anywhere on her.

If you want to see more of these little cock teasers, you can go to the Penetration Tease website for a nice combination of tease and please.

Google Romance

From the official press release:

“Google Romance users who find one another via Soulmate Search™ may then select the Contextual Dating option, which offers an all-expenses-paid romantic evening in exchange for viewing contextually relevant advertising throughout the course of the users’ date.”

Click here to check out the Google Romance site.

Stuff your salmon, ma’am?
Damn, wouldn’t this be great to find at the grocers? Then again, if we could just get it at our local market, it might take all the fun out of it.

Just some humor for this funny April 1st.
Click here to check it out.

Okay, I’m not saying you’re looking to have this done, but if you were going to lose your balls forever, is this the place you’d want it to happen?

I mean, seriously, wouldn’t your nads feel a little more comfortable with the whole idea if they knew you were going to a real medical facility to get them separated from you forever?



And again, I’m not saying you’d ever want to have your balls removed, but even if you did want them offed, are these the three guys you’d want to trust with removing them?

Hell, are these three guys you’d want doing any kind of medical procedure one you?

This is unbelievable. Check out this real true-life [tag]castration[/tag] story…

HaywoodCountyNews.com: Authorities shut down sadomasochistic dungeon
by Jon Ostendorff, staff writer/Citizen-Times
updated March 31, 2006 6:24 pm

WAYNESVILLE – At least six men traveled from across the nation and South America to have their genitals mutilated in what Haywood County authorities described as a sadomasochistic dungeon.

Three Haywood County men are now in jail on felony charges of castration without malice and practicing medicine without a license.
(click to read more…)

I’m not sure exactly why, but I have this strong urge to bite into some strawberries all of a sudden.

You can see a big version of this pic if you want, just click on the small version here.

This is that little Leah girl again, the one who I mentioned yesterday. The braces got me started, so I looked around at her stuff and found this pic that gave me a real appetite.

Don’t forget you can visit her Sweet Leah Luv website if you want to see what else this [tag]teen[/tag] is into.

I don’t know about you, but these chicks with braces do something for me.

I know these girls have all kinds of choices when it comes to getting [tag]braces[/tag] today. So when I see the ones who chose to go with the old-fashioned metal style, it tells me they’re thinking:

“Hey, if you wanna treat me like your little fuck toy, that’s cool, I really like it that way! Why do you think I got this [tag]schoolgirl[/tag] grill in the first place?”

Click the photo to open a new window with a big version of this pic. You can also check out her Sweet Leah Luv website for more about this little teaser and pleaser.