the xlog : x-rated weblog

a twisted and humorous look at sex, pornography, and the world in general

April 8, 2006

Some jobs that sound interesting, but..?

Filed under: humor — Simon @ 9:48 am

I don’t know about you, but some of these conjure up images for me. Or at least they did until I read the actual job descriptions. What do you think, are any of these jobs ones that you’d like to have? I mean, before you read the real descriptions, of course!

  • Back Washer – nope, you don’t get to use a bar of soap and a stiff brush on anyone – this job operates a machine for washing sliver (a continuous textile strand).
  • Bed Rubber – nothing to do with beds or prophylactics – this job operates a machine which smoothes stone blocks.
  • Bit Shaver – no, you don’t get to chew the hair off them – the person smoothes mouthpieces of smoking pipes.
  • Chick Sexer – sorry, this one isn’t what it seems either, unless you really wanted to insert an illuminating tool into baby birds to determine their gender.
  • Fur Blower – I know it sounds like an preliminary step to cunnilingus, but actually it’s someone who runs machinery for fumigating and cleaning furs.
  • Hand Nailer – nope, not another way to say masturbator, this one assembles wooden boxes, pallets and packing cases.
  • Lag Screwer – even if you know what a lag is, you still don’t get to screw one, this job is to insert bolts in table legs.
  • Nut Steamer – fortunately your testicles are safe on this one, the job is to immerse almonds, pecans etc in hot water to soften their shells.
  • Poultry Offal Icer – nope, no fancy decorative sugar icing here, this one shovels plain ice into chicken waste parts to avoid spoiling.
  • Rug Hooker – you can’t look for rugs burns to find these hookers, this job operates a device to make piles on rugs and carpets.
  • Skull Grinder – this has nothing to do with rough deep throat blowjobs, the job is to clean the ear and nose passages of brained pig heads.
  • Sulky Driver – this sounded like an old girlfriend, but it turns out the job is to take charge of two-wheel, horse-drawn carriages in races.
  • Wrinkle Chaser – nope, not someone who likes much older women, this job uses various tools to remove defects from new shoes.
  • Worm Picker – not another term for what a femdom does, this is actually someone who patrols grassy areas to find worms for fishing bait.
  • Whizzer – keep it in your pants, this one has nothing to do with taking a piss, the job is done by someone who operates felt-hat drying machinery.

Inspired by the post at Vitamin Q

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