the xlog : x-rated weblog

a twisted and humorous look at sex, pornography, and the world in general

May 24, 2006

Floozee Puppet Fucking

Filed under: humor,photos — Simon @ 10:22 am

Puppets Blowjob (humor pic) If you’ve never seen a couple of puppets getting it on, then you should take a look at the photos on this gallery.

I don’t know what it is about seeing a puppet with cum on its face that makes me grin, but I’m not going to worry about it too long.

Click on Hardcore Puppets for more.

May 21, 2006

Wife tears off husband’s testicles

Filed under: humor,sex news — Simon @ 2:15 pm

Howard is a Philadelphia man whose wife allegedly tore off two parts of his genitalia with her bare hands. Howard says his wife, who is bi-polar, thought he was cheating on her. So while he was asleep, she attacked him.

“I mean she just grabbed me all down there and yanking and yanking and tearing me up with those fingernails.”

I’m not really sorry to say that we don’t have any video to go with this one, but you can read the testicle tearing wife story here.

May 19, 2006

Pussy tools for the other pussies

Filed under: blog reviews,humor,photos — Simon @ 6:10 pm

Cat Carrier (humor pic) I’ve always wanted to be able to take my little pussies along when I go places, like you can do with dogs. A nice ride in an open Jeep. Maybe a walk on the beach.

Well, cats on leashes just doesn’t work. You can forget about herding them. And who wants to carry around a big boxy cat carrier?

But finally, there’s an answer. Just click the image for a full-size view.

I got the cat carrier ad from my friend, Chop, who has his own blog over at Chop on the Lake.

May 15, 2006

Public erection humor

Filed under: humor,video clips — Simon @ 6:28 pm

Just a little something that might bring you a laugh. This is a video of a young guy wandering around in public with a very obvious erection in his shorts. The soundtrack is a take off on the song “Until I got high” but this one is “Until I got hard” instead.

Click on the arrow in the center of the image to play the video.

May 6, 2006

Pussy tattoo ideas

Filed under: celebrities,humor,photos — Simon @ 1:00 pm

This isn’t a movie, just something that gave me a laugh today. It’s from a post on the BDSM Board asking about slave [tag]tattoos[/tag], but then someone asked “If I want a tattoo around my pussy what will you suggest?” and these were the posted suggestions so far.

The Willy Nelson (?)

Okay, one of these might make you want to plug it in, but I think the other one is a little scary. Not sure I’d want to put anything personal in there.

wall socket pussy tattooscary pussy tattoo

From the post on this page if you want to see what other suggestions have been made.

May 4, 2006

Porn Girls Catfight

Filed under: humor,pornstars,sex news,video clips — Simon @ 7:33 am

If you’ve seen Showtime’s Family Business, then you know Cousin Stevie handles the distribution end of their porn business. But in this insider video, we get a peek at what happened behind the scenes at one of his all-girl video shoots. In this slightly grainy clip, we see Dillan Lauren and Ava Vincent get into a unplanned physical encounter. Hair-pulling, head slammed into a wall, thrown on the floor, elbow slams…this one really has it all.

Just click on the screen capture image to start the video.

Note – there are three lessons to learn from this one:
1. don’t throw your drink on someone and turn your back;
2. don’t have sex with people if you don’t know their name; and
3. don’t beat up someone on video if you want to avoid a lawsuit.

May 2, 2006

Bachelor Party Stripper Sex

Filed under: premium sites,strippers,video clips — Simon @ 8:32 am

Here’s a little peak at a bachelor party, complete with a sexy stripper who knows what she’s really there to do. Just click on the images to start the video clips.



Some bachelor parties are better than others. I’ve been to ones with no [tag]strippers[/tag] at all. I’ve been to ones with strippers who just dance, take the money, and go home.



Then there are bachelor parties like this one.



You know your friends like you when they take the time to find a stripper who doesn’t leave until the job is done.



There’s a lot more to this video, more than I can post here. I’ll see about getting some galleries from the guys who made it so I can show you more. In the meantime, if you like wild party action, check out the Shocking Parties website for more sample party pics and clips (plus they have trial memberships).

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