the xlog : x-rated weblog

a twisted and humorous look at sex, pornography, and the world in general

January 28, 2008

Enhance this you lying cocksuckers

Filed under: sex news — Simon @ 4:03 pm

Smiling BobMagazine and radio ads for Enzyte made the “male enhancement” pill sound like a sure thing.

The ads featured a glowing customer satisfaction survey, testimonials from happy Enzyte users, a promise of better sex within 30 days and a claim that a Harvard doctor developed the pill’s formula.

But a company executive who helped sell Enzyte says there was a catch:

None of it was true.

James Teegarden Jr., the former vice president of operations at Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals, explained Tuesday in U.S. District Court how he and others at the company made up much of the content that appeared in Enzyte ads.

He said employees of the Forest Park company created fictitious doctors to endorse the pills, fabricated a customer-satisfaction survey and made up numbers to back up claims about Enzyte’s effectiveness.

“So all this is a fiction?” Judge S. Arthur Spiegel asked about some of the claims.

“That’s correct, your honor,” Teegarden said.

Teegarden’s testimony is key to the case federal prosecutors are making against Berkeley and its founder, Steve Warshak, who is accused of orchestrating a $100 million conspiracy to defraud thousands of customers.

Warshak faces up to 20 years in prison and millions of dollars in penalties if his trial ends with a conviction. Several other company employees, including Warshak’s mother, Harriet, also are charged with participating in the conspiracy.

Teegarden, who has pleaded guilty and is cooperating with prosecutors, said Warshak oversaw the phony ads and every other aspect of Berkeley’s business.

“He was intimately involved with all of it,” Teegarden said. “He knew what was going on in the departments all the time.”

Teegarden said Warshak told him to create two spreadsheets of data to support claims that Berkeley was making in Enzyte ads.

One spreadsheet purportedly showed how the pills increased penis size by an average of 24 percent, when in fact no customers had reported such results. Instead, Teegarden said, he made up the numbers.

Another report he created showed customer-satisfaction ratings of 96 percent for Enzyte customers. But prosecutors showed jurors an e-mail from Warshak that they said asked Teegarden to fix the numbers.

“Here’s the spreadsheet you wanted,” Teegarden responded via e-mail. “Let me know if you want me to doctor it up some more.”

Jurors saw several magazine ads for Enzyte and other Berkeley products with titles such as “Maximize the Pleasure” and “Harder Than Chinese Arithmetic,” all promising to enhance the sexual experience.

When customers ordered a product, the company’s goal was to keep charging their credit cards for as long as possible, Teegarden said.

He said first-time customers were automatically enrolled in a “continuity program” that sent Enzyte to their homes every month and charged their credit cards without authorization.

“Without continuity, the company wouldn’t exist,” he said. “It was the sole profit of the business.”

If customers complained, he said, employees were instructed to “make it as difficult as possible” for them to get their money back. In some cases, Teegarden said, Warshak required customers to produce a notarized statement from a doctor certifying that Enzyte did not work.

“He said it was extremely unlikely someone would get anything notarized saying they had a small penis,” Teegarden said.

Warshak’s lawyers will not get a chance to cross-examine Teegarden until sometime today, and they declined to comment on his accusations. Warshak, however, said he did nothing wrong.

“I’m absolutely sure that no crimes occurred at Berkeley,” he said.

The Enzyte ads have been called Smiling Bob commercials because of the main character.

The Enquirer – Smiling Bob ads called lie

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