the xlog : x-rated weblog

Condom and cock sizes, circumcision, blue-balls, cock color, shoe sizes, masturbation, limp dicks, and the seam on a cock. Here some more interesting dinner table conversational tidbits for your quoting pleasure.

1. Only six percent of the male population needs extra-large rubbers, according to condom manufacturers. In other words, 94 percent of men lie about cock size.

2. The study most trusted by urologists shows that the average erect cock size is 5.1 inches long and 4.8 inches in girth. Unless you’re in a chat room. Then you can figure that every man there has a cock twice that size.

(those first two facts inspired the “Man with Large Cock” photo above)

3. About 80 percent of American men are circumcised, even though the American Academy of Pediatrics says it’s not medically necessary. No word on why men want to cut off part of something and then exaggerate its size later on.

4. Men really do get “blue-balls.” Technically called “prostatic congestion,” the achiness in the testicles is caused by “trapped” blood. And yes it’s true that a nice orgasm will definitely relieve the congestion, and the ache. But doctors say a warm shower or aspirin will also do the trick.

5. A cock is generally darker in color than the bodies it hangs from. Why? It’s part of the sexual maturation process, but it’s also because during puberty a man discovers a special friend, his right hand, and the skin darkens partly because of all the handling the cock gets.

6. There is no correlation between cock size and shoe size, hand size or nose size. And the bad news is even worse for gold-digging nymphos: There’s no correlation between cock size and wallet size.

7. Masturbation, or “punching the monkey,” is healthy. No, really. “Use it or lose it” isn’t just an excuse for a guy’s hands to migrate south; it’s the official tested and studied conclusion of sex experts. The less a guy uses his sexual plumbing, the more problems he’ll have pumping the well later on. It’s only at Thanksgiving that you shouldn’t “play with your meat.”

8. A man will go limp if he drinks too much. But how much is too much? About three and a half drinks for a 150-pound man. After that, the only thing standing upright in your house will be the vacuum cleaner.

9. All men have a line going down their cock and over their balls. And no, it’s not the chow line. It’s more a “seam” on the underside of the cock. It forms when the fetus is in the uterus. In women, the seam becomes the inner lips of the vagina. In men, the seam encloses the urethra along the length of the cock.

10. Nothing can make a cock bigger — except getting older. Unfortunately, the size of the prize stops growing by the time a man hits his early 20s.

That’s it for now, but I’m sure we’ll find some more cock facts for you soon.