the xlog : x-rated weblog

a twisted and humorous look at sex, pornography, and the world in general

October 13, 2006

In case you didn’t know, the Internet is for Porn

Filed under: anime,humor,video clips — Simon @ 7:15 am

For those who believe the Internet is for anything else, we present this video clip featuring some of the characters from World of Warcraft explaining exactly what the Internet is for.

“The Internet is for Porn” clip here is a parody of a song from Avenue Q, a Broadway musical featuring risqué songs about racism, Internet porn, and the difficulties of life, with all but three characters portrayed by puppets. Parents should note that because of its adult content and “full puppet nudity” (including graphic simulated sex between puppets), Avenue Q may be inappropriate for children 12 years of age and under.

October 11, 2006

Witchdoctor gives bad sex advice

Filed under: commentary,humor,sex news — Simon @ 1:38 pm

hedgehog sexIf you’re ever in Serbia and a witchdoctor tells you that having sex with a hedgehog will cure premature ejaculation, don’t fucking take his advice. Zoran Nikolovic believed the advice and wound up in the operating room when the hedgehog’s needles severely lacerated his dick.

The good news is that the hedgehog survived unhurt by the encounter with the idiot. The bad news is that the hospital was able to repair the damage to the dick, so there’s still a chance this moron could breed.

October 7, 2006

Pot smoking means more years of enjoying porn

Filed under: commentary,humor,sex news — Simon @ 1:10 am

female scientist smoking potActually, we mean more years of knowing that you’re enjoying [tag]porn[/tag]. And this isn’t something some pothead said at a local smokeshop in West Nowhere. No, we’re basing that statement on new research in the USA which claims that smoking pot prevents Alzheimer’s disease.

The Scripps Research Institute in California is now saying that the active ingredient in marijuana, THC (delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol), prevents the progression of the disease by preserving levels of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine better than current commercial drugs. In their report to the Molecular Pharmaceutics journal, the researchers said THC is also more effective at blocking the clumps of protein which can inhibit memory and cognition in Alzheimer’s patients.

So now, besides helping relieve glaucoma and the side-effects of chemotherapy and AIDS treatments, we can now add that marijuana smoking helps prevent the leading cause of dementia among the elderly.

When the hell are the medical establishment and the lawmakers going to stop taking money from the big pharmaceutical companies and work together to get the criminal penalties removed at least for those who have valid medical needs?

October 6, 2006

Big Tits Save Lives

Filed under: humor,sex news — Simon @ 7:56 am

big breastsA Bulgarian car crash victim was saved by her huge breast implants – which acted as airbags to absorb the impact. Elena Marinova, 24, from Sofia, was involved in a full frontal crash with another car in the northern city of Ruse. Despite both cars being written off and the other driver being badly hurt Marinova escaped serious injury thanks to her breast implants, according to the local Standart newspaper.

A police expert explained that the 40DD silicone implants “absorbed the impact of the crash”. He added: “They worked just like airbags – protecting the victim’s ribs and vital organs from damage. “However they are not as safe as the real thing because they exploded, which airbags are not supposed to do.”

October 5, 2006

Fake, yes, but you still have to pay for them!

Filed under: humor,sex news — Simon @ 9:01 am

boob wantedThe ladies in the wanted posters don’t just have fake beasts, they also used fake names and numbers to cheat a German plastic surgeon out of payment for their boob jobs.

Michael Koenig, a surgeon in Cologne who’s out about $10,000 for each enlargement surgery, gave photos of the newly larger breasts to the police, and the Bild newspaper went to press with a five-column picture of the naked breasts of “Tanja,” one of the women who stepped out for a breath of fresh air and never returned or paid.

The doctor say he believes all the women knew each other: “Now I am demanding money up front, pardon the pun,” he added.

October 2, 2006

Can you hear me (coming) now?

Filed under: commentary,humor,photos,sex news — Simon @ 8:00 am

pig condomHow about making love to some cellphone-sounding music coming from your condom-covered cock?

Korrespondent magazine reports that a Ukrainian scientist has invented a new [tag]condom[/tag] with a miniature loudspeaker and motion sensor implanted in the condom’s upper cuff. The volume of the music varies with the intensity of the sex, and the tones change depending on the postions of the partners. Testing so far has shown no danger of electric shock to users of the device.

We don’t know when the Ukrainian condom will be on the market, but you can find a few other musical condoms by clicking the image of the little pig.

« More On Previous Page