the xlog : x-rated weblog

Dick has had enough good stuff to be happy, including a beautiful wife and a dark and sexy mistress. But Dick is never content until he has it all. And you can’t have it all unless you are willing to risk it all. There’s a Dark Deception brewing.

In the opening scene, a brunette with a weird nose named Lola gets her pussy eaten out by her man. Then Lola spit shines the thick cock while in a 69. She bounces her twat on her man’s cock in a slow, wanna-be sensual fashion before lying on her side to take the continued cock jabbing. Lola is then doggied and The Whackman gets bored by the slow-ass pace.

Scene 2 brings The Whackman some girl-on-girl action at strip club between two good looking blondes named Tanya James and Allysin Chains. After Tanya (the more gorgeous of the two) gets fingered by Allysin, Allysin pulls out a dildo and puts it to work on Tanya. Then Allysin gets her cunt eaten out before getting in the doggy position to get poked by the dildo from Tanya.

(click to read more…)

Here we have two more items for those parents who bought their kids the Peekaboo Pole Dancing Kit we mentioned in Strippercize for Kids last year.

First up, from Spin Master, we show you the I-Tattoo.

For a paltry fifteen bucks, you can get this kit which features what they call a “realistic, vibrating tattoo pen” and tells kids from ages 6 and up to “get ready to get inked.”

That’s right, now your pole dancing tyke can look way more authentic than all the other tiny pole dancers who don’t have little stripper tats on them.

Can’t you just see the envy in the other parents’ eyes when they see your ‘lil Ashley gets up to show her stuff?


Alright, if you already got the kid the pole dancer kit and the stripper tattoo kit, here’s something you can use to keep them motivated and practicing their moves.

What we have here is Hasbro’s attempt to knock the Bratz dolls off the top spot. These are their planned Pussycat Dolls. These are aimed at girls 8 and older and feature the Dolls in a variety of their risqué, burlesque-inspired outfits. We’re not sure if they’ll have a version that sings “Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me” when you pull their strings, but we can always hope.

In an interesting turn, a court in Norway has ruled that stripping is considered an art, and therefore Norwegian strippers don’t have to pay the country’s 25 percent value-added tax (VAT) on their earnings.

The owners of the Diamond Go Go Bar in Oslo had refused to pay the VAT as tax authorities demanded, and the local authority had taken the club to court over its refusal. Lawyers for the club’s owners argued that the strip tease is an art form that requires skill and that striptease dancers were stage artists just like sword-swallowers and comedians and deserved the same respect and tax breaks as other creative artists and performers.

“Striptease, in the way it is practiced in this case, is a form of dance combined with acting,” the court ruled, making a clear distinction between “banal and vulgar” striptease — in which there is physical contact between dancers and the audience — and artistic dance.

“It can hardly be questioned that striptease is entertainment,” said the High Court verdict. “Most people would characterise striptease as an artistic activity.”

The court also ordered Norway to pay the legal costs for the Go-Go Bar, estimated at $27,000.

Note to art lovers: the art shown here is from Jared von Hindman and Michiel Van der Somme (sculpture).

A court has upheld a Las Vegas city regulation barring erotic dancers from raunchy physical contact with their customers, in a ruling that runs counter to the gambling city’s sinful reputation.

Nevada’s Supreme Court on Thursday reversed two lower court rulings that found the regulation improperly curtailed “expressive conduct” protected by the U.S. Constitution’s First Amendment.

The high court judges said that even if the constitutional amendment did apply, its protection was not absolute, and added the city measure helps curtail prostitution, sexually transmitted disease, drug offenses and criminal activity.

The city rule bars dancers from physical contact of a sexual nature with customers. The decision echoes a ruling by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals last year that backed a California city’s regulation requiring at least two feet (0.7 metre) distance between erotic dancers and the audience.

- Good news in the Pacific Northwest though, as voters in Seattle took a different view this week, rejecting a measure on Tuesday that would require erotic dancers to stay at least four feet from patrons.

Here’s something you won’t be able to spend $100 on to buy for your kids. At least not since Tesco was forced to have this “toy” pulled from the toys and games section of their website.

Tesco was accused of “destroying children’s innocence” after the kit was discovered in the toy section by a mother searching for Christmas gifts for her 10 and 11 year old daughters. Evidently she was surprised to see sales copy saying:

“Unleash the sex kitten inside…simply extend the Peekaboo pole inside the tube, slip on the sexy tunes and away you go!

“Soon you’ll be flaunting it to the world and earning a fortune in Peekaboo Dance Dollars.”

The kit includes a chrome pole that extends to 8ft 6ins, a ’sexy dance garter’ and a DVD demonstrating suggestive dance moves.

Family Focus, a group opposed to the kit, said that “Children are being encouraged to dance round a pole which is interpreted in the adult world as a phallic symbol… This should only be available to the most depraved people who want to corrupt their children.”

Tesco today agreed to remove the product from the Toy section of the site, but said it will remain on sale as a Fitness Accessory.

Now I’m not saying that kit should be sold to children, but I will say that if you start practicing early enough you can avoid what happens in the video above. Some strippers are too young, and some are just too drunk. Click the start button to take a look.

Teachers, schoolgirls and librarians, all taking off their clothes. What could be better than that? How about hot Las Vegas strippers dressed up in those outfits for a back-to-school fund-raiser called “Detention.”

Performers at Scores Las Vegas, a , peeled out of their clothes and offered lap dances to customers, to support the local school district. Scores also matched patrons donations on a dollar-for-dollar basis. Money raised will be used to provide new or gently used materials, supplies and computers to Clark County teachers for free or little cost.

Maybe it’s just me, but I like the subtle irony of strippers working hard to make sure someone gets an education.

The older cultures sometimes have the best traditions. Lots of cultures believe that the more people who attend someone’s funeral, the more important or honored that person must have been in life. Well, in China they have a way to guarantee a good turnout at a funeral: they use strippers!

That’s right, they use naked dancing girls to attract more “mourners” to the funeral. Wealthy families often hire several strippers, and sometimes more than one group of strippers are employed, to ensure an even bigger crowd.

Wonder how I found out about this? I heard about it because the dickless wonders who run mainland China have now banned the traditional practice. They even arrested the people who run five of the stripper troupes for “obscene performances.”

Fucking uptight bureaucratic assholes.

Fortunately in Taiwan, which is free from mainland control–and I hope they stay that way, the traditions are still honored. In fact, together with the explicit strippers, the funerals often include hardcore remarks made about the virility of the deceased. Hell, they even use strippers in temples to express gratitude for lottery winnings!

So my advice for you today is, if you have to die and be buried in China, make sure you’re in Taiwan when you kick.