the xlog : x-rated weblog

That’s the new question you’ll hear when you call to get a pizza delivered. At least it will be if Corey Wildeman has his way. That’s because his new pizza place in Winnipeg, Canada inserts pornographic pictures in the box under the pizza.

Not everyone in the Manitoba capital is happy with this idea, but it’s being done strictly by the law. Callers must be 18 or over to order from Porno Pizza, and need to show a photo I.D. before the box is handed to them by the delivery person at the door. “They have to make sure they’re selling to someone who’s of age,” lawyer Ian Berger said. “But other than that, get a little something extra with your pizza — there’s nothing wrong with that.”

While Porno Pizza might not cross any legal lines, it did cross the comfort line for some folks, with one woman saying the woman in the photo she received was “too naked,” while another said that porn was “something I wouldn’t expect to have anything to do with pizza.” But actually what has surprised Wildeman the most since opening is the sex of the customers. “It’s about 75 to 80% female that are placing the orders and are taking orders at the door,” he said.

The pictures that Porno Pizza sends out now are chosen at random, “It runs the full gamut. There are some that are very Playboy-esque and others which Larry Flynt would blush at,” Wildeman said, describing the photos sent out with orders. He plans to give the customer more control over the kind of photo they’ll find in their box, and hopes to build his business into a national franchise.

Headphones might have kept this from happening (and you may want to pick up a pair before you watch your next porn video). Otherwise, make sure you’re prepared for a neighbor kicking in your front door and demanding, at the point of a weapon, that you show him where the screaming woman is.

Last week a Wisconsin man (shown here) pounded on and then broke down his neighbor’s door because he thought he heard a woman screaming for help. He thrust a cavalry sword at the man inside, demanding to be told where the woman was hidden. The neighbor told police the man became increasingly aggressive as he repeated the question, insisting that he had heard a woman being raped. The complaint said that, with the sword pointed at him, the man made him open closet doors to prove he was alone.

Actually, the neighbor was just watching a porn movie on his DVD player. He even played for police the part of the DVD he believed the man must have heard. The man, who lives with his mother in a downstairs apartment, said he didn’t call the police because he doesn’t have a phone. He was charged with criminal trespass, criminal damage and disorderly conduct.

- Note to readers: Remember to think about who else can hear the audio from your porn collection, and if you think there could be a problem, either turn it down or get some good headphones (or at least your own sword).

Some people just can’t resist the lure of free left-over porn. While others would rather sue someone over it.

The organizers of Imagination 69, a failed Belgian sex fair, were sued after thousands of erotic videos and books were left at the event’s site near Geraardsbergen. They’d planned for 30,000 visitors but less than 10,000 showed up, so there were lots of books, magazines, and DVDs left over at the end of the sex fair.

The solution for many vendors was to dump it all in fields outside of Geraardsbergen. Of course the news of this porn dump spread quickly and thousands of horny Belgians swooped in to snatch up the left behind loot. The area took on the name “Pornutopia” on the Internet as stories of free porn for the taking made the rounds of the chatrooms.

STOCKHOLM – In what could signal a turnaround in an otherwise sexually liberal country, a group of feminist have succeeded in convincing the Swedish military to ban porn from its bases. Disputing the claim that pornography is neither harmful nor degrading to women, the feminist organization also convinced the military to bar government officials from staying in hotels that provide in-room porn programming. Read more at Feminists Play Role in Swedish Military’s Porn Ban

I’m all for watching porn movies. I think that masturbation is a good thing. In my younger days I was know to enjoy having a drink or ten. And I’ve always liked to drive fine cars whenever I can. But combining all of those things at the same time can be a problem.

Or at least it was for Minnesota Timberwolves center Eddie Griffin.

A lawsuit filed last week states that he was drunk and masturbating while watching pornography in a DVD player mounted on the dashboard of his Cadillac Escalade SUV when he crashed into a parked Chevy Suburban back in March.

Somehow I know there’s going to be a big outcry and gnashing of teeth over how pornography and masturbation was the cause of the problem. Wrong! The problem was this guy doesn’t know how to manage his vices. You can do what you want to do, Eddie, but you can’t do them all at the same time with no regard to where you are or what else you’re doing.

This is a case of someone with bad impulse control, but I just know the PTB (powers that be) will find a way to gain some anti-porn/anti-sex points over it.

The accident was caught on the surveilance video of the Santana Foods store across the street. The video shows Griffin in the store pleading with witnesses to not call police saying, “I can’t go to jail.” It also shows Griffin admitting he is drunk and doesn’t have a driver’s license, and has him struggling for minutes to put on his sweatshirt and offering to buy a car for the man who’s SUV he crashed into in front of Santana Foods. The news site where I found the story has the video coded in a way that makes it hard to show to you here, but you can watch it on the page below if you want to see for yourself.

Wolves Player Watched Porn, Caused Crash

While the first U.S. editions showed more skin than the new Indonesian Playboy, that sure didn’t stop some people there from grabbing them up as soon as they went on sale. And it didn’t stop others from being completely outraged about the very idea of Playboy being allowed in their country.

The Indonesian version of the magazine doesn’t even expose a nipple, so forget about any full frontal nudity here. And yet there are still people saying the very name Playboy is something they object to.

Full story available below.

(click to read more…)